The Broom Closet
by Crystal56
Summary: The broom closet, serving Hogwarts for multiple generations; used by persons of all ages. But what about the two newest occupants who are trapped in the enchantment? do the Potions Professor and The-Boy-Who-Lived plan on getting out of this predicament?
1. Tell me again why we're here!

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter! I'm very, very poor...  
  
The Broom Closet  
  
Summary: Since the beginning of Hogwarts, the Broom Closet has served multiple people in having a night of privacy to themselves. The door of the room will not open unless the act of "doing it" has been performed...meaning intercourse of some kind must take place, or else the door will not open in the morning. Instead, the two occupants are locked inside until they spend one night in passion...however; the two newest residents are more than likely willing to waste away on opposite sides of the closet walls...  
  
Prelude: Why are we here?  
  
Being stuck in a closet was humiliating and all around it just sucked. Harry hated being in here, and if only it were him, it would be easier. Truth is, he was stuck in there with a Professor Severus Snape, who had been pulled in along with Harry, and the door closed behind them, leaving no way out. And it was dark...very dark, well, there was a little light coming from the crack in the door, and he stayed close to the light, while Snape sat back against the opposite edge.  
"Remind me Mr. Potter, why we are stuck here again..." Snape said dangerously, although the boredom in his voice was apparent.  
"Well, you were talking to Malfoy and me and then he pushed me into this closet which was open. I grabbed onto you for support and ended up dragging you into here as well," Harry said.  
"Do you know which broom closet this is?" Snape asked.  
"No sir," Harry said, "I don't."  
"This is the one broom closet that everyone knows about for its allowance of a night of lustful passions..." Snape began.  
"Oh, so this is where Hermione and Ron have been going for the past year..." Harry said thoughtfully, he had often ended up wondering where they had gone on odd nights during this past year, and well, now he finally knew.  
"And the closet will remain closed until..." Snape began again.  
"I thought it odd that they didn't return back to the common room some nights, I wondered where they could have gone," Harry interrupted.  
"POTTER, ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING?" Snape yelled and then managed to quiet himself.  
"I think so...to sum it up...Gee, we're stuck?" Harry asked humorously.  
"Until..." Snape prompted.  
"Are you serious? That's the only way to get out of here?" Harry asked.  
"Mr. Potter, paying attention for once, that's a surprise..." Snape said with a sigh.  
"Shut it," Harry said and stood up again, trying to open the door.  
"It won't work," Snape said, "We aren't getting out any other way than the original purpose that this room was created for."  
"I am not doing that!" Harry exclaimed as he sat down on the floor again, "At least it's clean in here..."  
"That's the only thing you notice?" Snape asked, "Of course it's clean!" He said the last part sarcastically.  
"We're never getting out of here...I'm gonna die of hunger!" Harry whined.  
"Harry, is that you in there mate?" a voice asked, and Harry emitted a groan. Just what he needed, Ron...bloody hell...  
  
"Harry, is that you in there mate?" Ron asked, "Finally found someone, eh?"  
"Shut it Ron, I didn't find anyone," Harry said.  
"That's a little disturbing then that you're in there by yourself," Ron said.  
"Oh, and to think of all the times you were in here!" Harry exclaimed.  
"I was with Hermione!" he exclaimed.  
"Don't start with that! The images in my mind..." Harry groaned.  
"Is Harry in there?" Hermione asked, coming up and hugging Ron's neck, "Who's he with?"  
"Apparently no one Hermione," Ron said, starting to laugh.  
"It's anyone but no one, and the situation isn't funny!" Harry said.  
"I think it is!" Ron howled and laughed harder.  
"Tell your little friends to bugger off," a harsher, deeper voice stated from the closet. Ron's laughing stopped laughing in about an instant.  
"SNAPE?" Ron exclaimed.  
"Professor?" Hermione asked, being a little bit more respectful.  
"Yeah, like I said, the situation isn't funny," Harry said.  
"I'll go get the headmaster...surely there must be some way to break the spells on this door..." Hermione said, "I mean...surely the closet could realize that..."  
"It won't...we've tried," Harry said gravely.  
"I'm still sure the headmaster..." Hermione began again.  
"If you do than the whole school will know by tomorrow!" Snape said loud enough that Hermione hung her head and said nothing.  
"So, you two have no way of getting out then?" Ron asked.  
"Not unless we go at it the way you do with Hermione!" Harry shouted.  
"That's a little crude," Ron said, "And I don't think...never mind."  
"Well, then...you're stuck, officially. No one can go in or out...nothing can get in or out until..." Hermione said and bit a nail.  
"We can't exactly help you then...but...I actually find this situation amusing!" Ron said, "You're stuck in there with your least favorite Professor and no way to get out... I pity you though as well..."  
"I don't need YOUR PITY!" Harry exclaimed.  
"Temper, temper..." Snape muttered and Ron began to laugh again.  
"You two seem to make a funny couple," Ron said.  
"NOT FUNNY!" Harry yelled.  
"RONALD WEASLY 50 POINTS FROM GRYFFINDOR!" Snape yelled as loud as he could.  
"Worth it, it was totally worth it!" Ron said and led Hermione away from the closet. Hermione, however, went back to the door to give warning.  
"We promise not to tell yet...but people who use this thing regularly..." Hermione began.  
"Like you two?" Harry puffed out.  
"Well, yes... They're going to wonder who's in the closet and why they can't get in..." Hermione said, "If you two don't get out of there, that is..."  
"I am not going to do anything!" Harry said.  
"I'm sorry Harry, I'll do some research if I can, but I can almost swear that it's the only way out..." Hermione said.  
"Before we completely leave you, how'd you get in there?" Ron asked.  
"I was pushed and I grabbed...Professor Snape for support," Harry said slowly, almost reluctantly.  
"Well Harry, I do pity you..." Hermione said.  
"I already said I don't need pity," Harry said.  
"You should be hungry; I'll try and find a way to get some sort of food into there," Hermione said, "Remember you didn't eat much at dinner tonight."  
"..." Harry didn't reply to that.  
"I'm going to the library now, I'll try and help!" Hermione said, "I'm sure Ron can help to if I force him."  
"Don't need to force me. If we can get him out by any other means, let's do it!" Ron said and dragged Hermione off again.  
"We'll see you later Harry, please don't do anything foolish!" she said as she let Ron drag her off. It was a polite way to say you better not bang the professor unless you were desperate.  
"What the hell?" Snape asked, "Did those two basically ignore me?"  
"I don't think they needed to know your position on it seeing as how you already deducted points from Ron," Harry said, "Hermione's bright...she can do something...can't she?"  
"This room has been enchanted this way since the founder's time...I won't pass hope," Snape said dejectedly. Harry sighed again and pressed his head to the closet door. He definitely didn't want to be here.  
  
TBC  
  
A/N: Like it? Hate it? I just had this idea in my head and I can't get it out so I'm writing it. It'll get better or worse depending on my mood, but this chapter was just a lighter because I'm posting two versions of this, one on FFN and another, the dirtier version on AFFN, so bear with me on updates and the like. Please don't flame me, but honest non-flaming feedback is appreciated...! Tell me if you want me to update! 


	2. Time to do something

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, I'm very poor...seriously, very poor...  
  
AFFN and FFN version  
  
Chapter 1: It's time to do something...  
  
"I'm getting tired...I think I could snooze off for a bit, but I don't trust you," Harry said firmly as he curled up.  
"Do you think I would be the one to touch you? You are obviously thick if you think that I'd try something," Snape said and turned his eyes away from Harry's. Harry contemplated this for a while, and seeing as how both weren't going to try anything for a while, he allowed himself to nod off...  
  
"Harry, darling Harry," a female voice said, "You have so much..."  
"Who's there?" Harry asked to the infinite darkness.  
"Why don't you open your eyes..." she said softly. It was partially sarcastic. Harry looked around, his eyes slowly opening as he felt himself immersed in some sort of watery substance.  
"Who are you?" he asked.  
"I don't think you need to know that yet. It's important that I talk to you," she said, "I am going to give you a gift..." Harry saw a light in front of his eyes.  
"You'll get me out of the closet? Wow, thanks!" Harry exclaimed but the voice just laughed.  
"I can't do that," she said, "All that I can do is give you this..." The light moved inside of him and began to grow warm.  
"What is it?" Harry asked, "It feels...different..."  
"It is a gift that in time you shall appreciate," she said and laughed again, "Use it well!" Harry felt warmth engulf him as the water seemed to change to a crimson shade.  
  
Harry opened his eyes slowly as all feelings of sleep left him. What had just transpired in the past few hours? Harry looked over and saw Snape snoozing soundly; he could hear faint snores emanating from the Potion Professor's lips. What sort of dream had he just had? He looked at his watch, using the light under the door instead of his wand to see because he wasn't about to disturb Snape. Let sleeping Professors lie, he thought to himself, pleased with the double meaning that he thought went along with it. It was almost 2 in the morning! They'd almost been there a full night! And he knew that they weren't about to be leaving either in the morning, due to the fact nothing had transpired during the night, unless Snape had while he was sleeping. Harry smiled a bit, Snape would do something like that, he just hated to think of it, and he shuddered and shrugged off the thought.  
"Well, at least I'm not dead yet..." Harry said, but that was wishful thinking. Snape through all of this had looked overly murderous at Harry, something Ron couldn't see and Hermione could only ponder about, and Harry wondered if Snape would kill him just to see if that would get them out of the closet.  
"Shut it boy," a grunt came from across the floor. Snape's eyes were half open and he appeared to be curled up in a sort of ball.  
"But why, there's nothing else to do in here!" Harry said, and then chided himself. There was something else to do...but he wasn't about to be the one to do it!  
"I'm still trying to sleep," Snape said grumpily, "and you just woke me up!"  
"It's two in the morning sir," Harry said, "And there's still no sign of the door opening."  
"How perspective..." Snape said sarcastically, realizing he probably wasn't going to be allowed to sleep anymore, so he shifted the way he was sitting, "And while we're off subject of the real problem, what the hell were you murmuring in your sleep?"  
"Was I saying something?" Harry asked, "I didn't realize I was even talking aloud!"  
"Apparently not, eh?" Snape sneered, "You were blubbering on and on someone..."  
  
"That was in my dream..." Harry began.  
"And I want to know that why?" Snape asked.  
"Well, there was this woman's voice and she said she was giving me a gift or something. I never saw her face," Harry said and Severus Snape only looked mildly interested.  
"Well, if the gift wasn't a ticket out of here, then shut the hell up!" Snape said.  
"Aren't we the users of foul language?" Harry asked with a small grin.  
"You are such an annoying child! You are worse than your father was!" Snape exclaimed with a glare that made Harry want to cry, but he held his ground.  
"I could take that as a compliment to mean I'm doing well or I could curse you to oblivion!" Harry said.  
"Ha, the great Harry Potter thinks he can curse me? Well, maybe so, but I know more foul curses than you, I'm afraid..." Snape said cockily.  
"Why the hell do you hate me?" Harry asked, finally deciding while they were stuck, he'd get all the answers he needed, and he could pester if he had to, until Snape gave in.  
"You are exactly like your father, and I hated him as well!" Snape exclaimed.  
"But you didn't even know me and on the first day I had your class you made me out to be some sort of lazy boy! You didn't know anything about me and you still don't know!" Harry exclaimed.  
"I just assumed you grew up pampered and such, the Boy-Who-Lived..." Snape said.  
"That wasn't the situation at all!" Harry yelled, almost jumping to his feet, "I had to live with my mother's sister and she hated me! I hardly got enough to eat, my cousin and his friends constantly ganged up on me, and I never got to know much of the outside world except for school! I couldn't even go on a field trip!"  
"And you want my pity?" Snape asked slowly.  
"NO! I just want you to understand! I wasn't some pampered kid! I wasn't some glorious hero who everybody loved! I wasn't even treated like a normal kid! When I found out there was another world for me to be in, I WAS THE HAPPIEST KID ALIVE!" Harry shouted and hushed himself quickly after in case someone had heard that and wondered where it had come from.  
"And you obviously assumed the worse for me as well?" Snape sneered, "What was your impression of me, if mine of you now is entirely mistaken?"  
"Git," Harry said and Snape glared, "Well, obviously from the way you had acted towards me I couldn't help but hate you! You gave me no reason to believe you were anything else but a slimy GIT!"  
"Well Potter, it seems we both were misinformed..." Snape said and looked away.  
"Sarcastic S.O.B!" Harry muttered and stared at the crack in the door, wanting out of here as soon as possible.  
"Stupid boy," Snape said and Harry turned and glared.  
"Is this how we plan to pass the time, insulting one another?" Harry asked, "If so, I can assure you that this is going to be one fight you won't be able to win!"  
"And why's that?" Snape asked.  
"Because I have a whole line of things I've wanted to say for the longest time," Harry said.  
"I can assure you that the feeling is mutual," Snape said and then pulled out his wand. Harry scooted back into the corner as best as he could.  
"I wouldn't if I were you..." Harry began reaching for his own wand.  
"Silly boy," Snape said, "Lumos!" The dim closet walls were lit with a faint light, and Harry saw paper plastered up over the walls and a small candle sitting opposite of Snape in the corner. Harry watched Snape light the candle and its glow seemed to light the dim walls even more. Snape noticed on much of the paper there seemed to be writing on it, and Snape took interest in the paper piece plastered at the back of the wall.  
"What is it, sir?" Harry asked.  
"Its rules," Snape said interested, "I can't believe they'd actually have rules here..."  
"Well, what do they say?" Harry asked, wondering if there might be a clause to have a way for both to be able to get out of here.  
"Welcome to the broom closet," Snape read aloud, "If you haven't guessed what this room is for, it's for sex. And that's just putting it bluntly. This closet provides all users with one night of passion, and more if the closet seems to sense the need for more time to be provided. You can live out your wildest fantasies here in private, with no eyes upon you. There are some rules here that do apply to this room..."  
"Lemme guess," Harry began.  
"Shut up and listen boy!" Snape exclaimed and continued to read, "Number 1 rule is about bringing your own materials. This includes but is not limited to, protection, toys, lubricants, bedding, food, and all other things for a night of passion. The number 2 rule is the fact that only two people are allowed in this room, but all gender preferences are accepted. Heterosexual and Homosexual relationships are tolerated. Rule number 3 states that nighttime begins whenever someone is locked in, even if it begins in the middle of the day. The night would then end around five in the morning on the next day. If the closet gives you more time, your need must be really great, so enjoy yourselves but be warned to check every morning at 5 to see if the door opens. If it does and you are in the middle of something, people will be able to see you. Rule number 4 states that you cannot just leave and come back in. Another couple has to use the room next before you are allowed to re-enter. Rule number 5 states that sex qualifies as intercourse, not orally. And there's small fine print at the bottom, Rule number 6, if you are locked in the room with another person, the closet doesn't differentiate between partners and enemies. The act must be performed by the parties involved or else the door will not open at 5 in the morning until the act has been performed."  
"Does it say anything else?" Harry asked.  
"Well, it does. It finishes by saying 'we learned this the hard way, so enjoy your stay in the Broom Closet, may it serve your sexual needs in the future,'" Snape finished.  
"Is it signed?" Harry pondered aloud.  
"Yours truly, Godric Gryffindor and Rowena Ravenclaw..." Snape said, "And Salazar Slytherin and Helga Hufflepuff. I think the founders got themselves stuck in here. It makes me shiver to think about what pairings occurred..."  
"Didn't they create this room though?" Harry asked offhandedly.  
"They did, but maybe the problem was they were trying to put up the rules and they got stuck in here two by two..." Snape said and laughed slightly. Harry found it odd, Snape never laughed before.  
"Well, all we know now is the fact that we aren't getting out any other way," Harry said, and thought to himself, 'and it's not a pretty way either...'  
"Yes, we are stuck in here, unless your friend with the brains figures out someway to get past the founder's magic, which I highly doubt," Snape said with a sneer.  
"She'll figure out a way..." Harry trailed.  
"She may BE the brightest witch, but I believe this magic is beyond her reach boy," Snape sneered again.  
"So what do you propose we do?" Harry asked with a cocky eyebrow. Severus Snape seemed to realize what he had said and dropped his head.  
"Miss Granger better find a way out of here," he muttered.  
"Or what do you think will happen?" Harry asked.  
"I plan to die before I ever do what this closet was designed to do!" Snape exclaimed and looked up to meet Harry's gaze.  
"I don't want to die," Harry said and thought for a moment. It would only be once, right? It'd get them out of the room and they'd never have to speak of it again. Better yet, maybe Harry could go raid the ministry, pick up a time turner and make it so it would never happen! That way he...he wouldn't have to go through anything.  
"You don't happen to have a time turner handy, do you professor?" Harry asked.  
"It wouldn't do any good. We'd just end up here hours earlier...the only chance would be if we arrived when someone else was already in here and the door would have to open due to too many people, but the odds of our random choosing of time would be horrid, not to mention the fact that we'd both be considered perverts for the rest of our lives..." Snape said, "Well, you at least..."  
"YOU TOO!" Harry exclaimed, "You'd be a pervert as well you know!"  
"I wouldn't associate myself with that term...neither should you if you want to make it out of this alive," Snape warned.  
"Well, if you killed me you could get out," Harry began.  
"And face hell with Dumbledore? You must be joking boy!" Snape said with another laugh, "I might be the Dark Lord's favorite then, but the retribution would be swift if I ever came face to face with someone from Dumbledore's side."  
"Hermione would curse you senseless; kill you so many times..." Harry said, picturing the images with his mind and smiling at the thought.  
"She might, I'd be more worried about Dumbledore though," Snape said thoughtfully.  
"And yet you still hate all of us!" Harry said and sighed heavily. There would be only one way out of this. He didn't like it, and he wondered if Snape realized it. Hermione might be able to find a way, but then it'd probably never work anyways. How the hell could he do something like...that, to his potions professor? He'd never live it down, even if they swore never to tell anyone again!  
"This sucks, this bloody sucks!" Snape said and glared at the door. Harry smiled. He had never heard Snape use that word before. He'd use something cruder or start a line of curses from his mouth.  
"Watch your mouth!" Harry said in a mock voice that mirrored Mrs. Weasly's voice in most respects. To his surprise, Snape began to laugh.  
"She would, ha, say something like that," he said, "And you wouldn't want to cross her path when she's in a really bad mood either..."  
"I assume you've done that before," Harry said sarcastically.  
"I won't go there, if I say that, she'd kill me for telling someone else," Snape said and quieted himself and tried to go back to his serious demeanor. Harry looked at him strangely.  
"What did you bloody do?" he asked, curiosity getting the better of him.  
"I cursed their owl to have a bad sense of direction. She cursed me to oblivion and I was forced to remove the curse I had put on the owl. Unfortunately, to this day, Errol still seems to retain that sense of misdirection, but I suppose the age finally got to it. Molly never did forgive me until a few years had past..." Snape said, looking thoughtful once again. Harry was aghast. He had never seen Snape talk like this, much less act in the manner he said he did. Harry allowed himself to laugh.  
"As soon as we get out of here, I'm going to tell her you told me," Harry said, "I wondered what she'd do!"  
"YOU WILL DO NO SUCH THING!" Snape said, panic apparent in his voice.  
"Did I hit a chord or something with you?" Harry asked with a grin. Snape appeared to get a grip on what he was saying and how he was acting. Harry looked at him strangely, and Snape's black eyes rose to meet him.  
"What is it now Potter?" he asked, and that's when Harry scrambled over and kissed him. He wanted out of this stupid closet and the only way he could think of, as he knew no other options, was to 'do' Professor Severus Ignatius Snape. Snape however, seemed to believe there was other options, and even though he began to part his lips to enjoy the kiss, he pushed Harry away and Harry scrambled back to the other side of the closet.  
  
"What the hell did you think you were doing?" Snape asked angrily, eyes alight with a little bit of lust and a whole lot of panic.  
"I want to get the hell out of here sir..." Harry said slowly, "And as far as we know, there's only one way out...you weren't doing anything, so I thought I had better start it!" He smiled slightly, Snape had almost begun to enjoy it, but he obviously had panicked and pushed Harry away.  
"That is not something I wish to repeat. Do you understand Potter?" Snape asked, but Harry could tell that he saw a slight push of red coming to the professor's cheeks.  
"What? Next time you don't want four-play?" Harry asked with a grin, and then chided himself on being so crude.  
"You will not do that again, understand?" Snape asked and glared at Harry sternly. Harry smirked at that. He wanted out, really wanted out. And Severus Snape had said he couldn't kiss him again. Maybe Harry had to take drastic measures if he wanted to get out of the closet. VERY drastic measures seemed to be required...  
  
TBC  
  
A/N: I'm evil...he, he... Tell me if you like it and want me to continue. Thanks to all my reviewers! I love you all! And just a note, I'm not the kind of person who writes pure sex unless I feel like it. I prefer to write all sorts of stories, preferably the ones that make you saw AWWWW HOW SWEET! But don't say that yet...unless you want...the really sweet fluff is in later chapters...once the smut has been passed... well, Like it? Hate it? Tell me what you think, and don't flame me! (Unless rated in the G-PG range!) 


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